The Eyes Have It………or How to Charm Just About Anyone (it works!)


I just finished reading The Power of Charm by Brian Tracy.

This was an easy read, and although it did not hold any earth shattering revelations, I thought the chapter on eye contact was worth mentioning.

Did you know that eye contact projects to your speaker (client, partner, boss) that you are involved? it is a basic way that people will know if you are listening. Flicking is an act of shifting your gaze from one of the person’s eyes to the other. It is a process of engaging with your speaker. I know a business colleague who never, ever gives me eye contact and is always looking around the room.  This is dismissive and I don’t trust her. Now think of what your clients may feel.

Intense eye contact with no gaze shifting may signal sexual interest or threatening behaviour, so as to avoid this, shift your gaze to the sides of the speakers face for just a brief moment. Never gaze at their mouth or nose (they will think they have some food on their face or worse) or above or beside their heads (they will think you are showing disinterest).

Head tilts make you look very attentive and involved. it is a simple move, tilting your head slightly from side to side. (think of how endearing it is when your pet dog or cat does this).

Try using direct eye contact, flicking and the tilt and this will communicate: “I am totally focused on what you are saying”.

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